Over this last week and weekend I have been really reexamining my life and how I interact with people. I was so moved by the March on Washington this weekend. I saw people of all colors and backgrounds coming together to support the rights of women. All woman. White women, Women of Color, Trans women. All women. I was so thrilled to see it. To hear it. To feel it. I have been marching a long time. My first pride event was in 1990ish in Norfolk VA where we had about 30 people and a hibachi for our celebration. The cops told us to get out at 5pm. We have come a long way. I have attended prides, protests and marches with MECA, MEUSA and volunteered my time to not only support LGBTQI people (like myself) and even work towards creating the first library at the San Diego Center and getting their LGBTQI Senior Program off the ground. I was so thrilled to see the full range of diversity at the march this weekend.
And then the other shoe dropped. I read about how all white people are racist . I read how not only can I not support Trans people but also how I can't even use the word ally because I so much want a pat on the back. I also listened to the words of the speakers at the march. Those who have been working for women's rights for their entire lives and those who are just starting that march. I watched friends posting their disgust at the women marching. Saying they don't march for me. Yelling that they were nasty vulgar girls. Then I read about coming together and working for a cause, laying down the victimization that we can sometimes do to ourselves and actually getting off our asses and getting into the fight when you can. And then the stark reality of no matter what we may feel, we are indeed not equal. Then last night, to top off the week a friend shares this meme.
For a group of people who want the world to hear their voices, they certainly are shutting down a lot of others. I was molested by a family member from age 5 until I ran away from home at 15. The last 3 years of that was with full penetration sex. No condoms. No choice for me. Yet, this "friend" thinks that I should have made that choice. I just sit and shake my head at this.
I'm tired. I'm tired of being called a bigot. I'm tired of being told that I cannot help; I do not help and then being yelled at for not helping. Today's social justice warriors (SJW) have made it so difficult to even try to support them and I FUCKING FIT IN THE category. As a lesbian woman, I have a voice and yet, I'm told by speaking I'm silencing a lesbian PoC. Today I read a post that said Susan B. Anthony was a racist. I read her story many times and felt that because she was an abolitionist, she would not have been racist. Then I realized we are doing the same thing here that the SJW are doing to the movie Boy's Don't Cry. By today's standards many of the things that she said would be considered racist. Just as the choice to place Hillary Swank as Cis Female actress in the role of Brandon Teena, a trans man brought protests by our young SJWs actually shouting hate and violence at the director. At the time this movie was made there were little to no exposure to Trans people who were opening acting in films. I believe that this file was a benchmark in opening up what really goes on in the lives of some Trans people and was a very well made film. The rape scene was a bit too graphic for me, but that is a personal choice. Hillary Swank did an amazing job and it was really well done. Today, I would prefer to see a trans person playing the role of Brandon.
So what does that leave us with? What do we have? What can a middle aged white cis lesbian feminist pro choicer witch do to help support the rights of others? Sometimes we cannot join the marches do to disability, economics or location. Sometimes we cannot join groups that fight for the causes we want because the very groups we want to support frankly just don't want our support. They tell us that repeatedly with their words and actions.
So what can you do?
You be you. Help those individuals around you that you can. Be happy. Be positive. Try not to let them get you down. Support your local shelters or food banks. Go down to the library and volunteer to read books to the kids or help clean up for a book sale. Reach out to your local planned parenthood clinic and offer support. Check out the local cancer center and see if someone needs a ride to and from their treatments. Do what you can to make the world around you a better place. Hold your values high and don't let anyone ever tell you are anything other than a wonderful person who was put on this planet to help those who cannot help themselves. Become your own hero. Become someone who can take on the world, or maybe even just a little piece of it. There will be those that will read this post as some sort of whine. There will be those who always need to be the victim. You have the choice to sit back and play into that victimization or take the world by the horns and make it a better place. I have room on my team, and everyone is welcome to play.
Note: There are a lot of links embedded in this post. I recommend taking the time to follow up on as many of them as you can.
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| Photo Credit - Elijah Olson San Francisco Pride March 2006 |
And then the other shoe dropped. I read about how all white people are racist . I read how not only can I not support Trans people but also how I can't even use the word ally because I so much want a pat on the back. I also listened to the words of the speakers at the march. Those who have been working for women's rights for their entire lives and those who are just starting that march. I watched friends posting their disgust at the women marching. Saying they don't march for me. Yelling that they were nasty vulgar girls. Then I read about coming together and working for a cause, laying down the victimization that we can sometimes do to ourselves and actually getting off our asses and getting into the fight when you can. And then the stark reality of no matter what we may feel, we are indeed not equal. Then last night, to top off the week a friend shares this meme.
 |
| Internet Meme |
For a group of people who want the world to hear their voices, they certainly are shutting down a lot of others. I was molested by a family member from age 5 until I ran away from home at 15. The last 3 years of that was with full penetration sex. No condoms. No choice for me. Yet, this "friend" thinks that I should have made that choice. I just sit and shake my head at this.
I'm tired. I'm tired of being called a bigot. I'm tired of being told that I cannot help; I do not help and then being yelled at for not helping. Today's social justice warriors (SJW) have made it so difficult to even try to support them and I FUCKING FIT IN THE category. As a lesbian woman, I have a voice and yet, I'm told by speaking I'm silencing a lesbian PoC. Today I read a post that said Susan B. Anthony was a racist. I read her story many times and felt that because she was an abolitionist, she would not have been racist. Then I realized we are doing the same thing here that the SJW are doing to the movie Boy's Don't Cry. By today's standards many of the things that she said would be considered racist. Just as the choice to place Hillary Swank as Cis Female actress in the role of Brandon Teena, a trans man brought protests by our young SJWs actually shouting hate and violence at the director. At the time this movie was made there were little to no exposure to Trans people who were opening acting in films. I believe that this file was a benchmark in opening up what really goes on in the lives of some Trans people and was a very well made film. The rape scene was a bit too graphic for me, but that is a personal choice. Hillary Swank did an amazing job and it was really well done. Today, I would prefer to see a trans person playing the role of Brandon.
So what does that leave us with? What do we have? What can a middle aged white cis lesbian feminist pro choicer witch do to help support the rights of others? Sometimes we cannot join the marches do to disability, economics or location. Sometimes we cannot join groups that fight for the causes we want because the very groups we want to support frankly just don't want our support. They tell us that repeatedly with their words and actions.
So what can you do?
You be you. Help those individuals around you that you can. Be happy. Be positive. Try not to let them get you down. Support your local shelters or food banks. Go down to the library and volunteer to read books to the kids or help clean up for a book sale. Reach out to your local planned parenthood clinic and offer support. Check out the local cancer center and see if someone needs a ride to and from their treatments. Do what you can to make the world around you a better place. Hold your values high and don't let anyone ever tell you are anything other than a wonderful person who was put on this planet to help those who cannot help themselves. Become your own hero. Become someone who can take on the world, or maybe even just a little piece of it. There will be those that will read this post as some sort of whine. There will be those who always need to be the victim. You have the choice to sit back and play into that victimization or take the world by the horns and make it a better place. I have room on my team, and everyone is welcome to play.
 |
| Internet Meme |
Note: There are a lot of links embedded in this post. I recommend taking the time to follow up on as many of them as you can.
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