Why on earth do I have so much problems with my mother. I mean really. I'm 42 years old, I own my own house and car, my kid is a college graduate living in London. I have a wonderful husband who takes care of me and spoils me absolutely rotten... WHY THEN WHY for the love of all that is good and positive in this world do I have so many issues with my mother???
For that I have no answer... For now however here's my last two days...
Monday my younger sister calls me and says she's checking on mama so I volunteer to tag along. A brief history, my mother is diabetic, heart bypass survivor abuse survivor from childhood as well as with a husband who was both verbally and physically violent with her for the 30 some years they were married. This is the second such "wellness check" my sister and I have done with our mother. Sadly it ended the same. Her sugar was over 300, she had no insulin because she had given her money to my very youngest sister for clothes, cigarettes and stuff for her two children. Nice. We asked her several times to let us take her to the hospital. Her bp was 200/140 and my sister seemed to think she could possibly stroke out right there. She refused.
We had to get the Sheriff involved to take her to the hospital. Since she wasn't suicidal they let her go. We did manage to get her to agree to go to a therapist and to a medical doctor the next day. So I put in for emergency PTO and did what I could to help my sister with the appointments. All the while trying my best not to go slam into a mania dealing with it all.
It's insanity. I'm listed as a sick person because I have Bipolar Disorder however she's fine for refusing to treat her diabetes? Really?
UGH!
I've contacted the court system to see what we can do as well as the Center for the Aging here. Both have referred me to Adult Protective Services. They both said, Old people are allowed to make bad decisions. At this point there's not really too much you can do.
BOGGLES the mind!
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3 comments
Ugh, Sosanna.. that is so frustrating! You did good by venting through your blog.. just don't take on the rammifications of someone else's decisions. You can only control yourself, not someone else. They are right- old people have a right to make bad decisions. I want that right when I get older myself. I know it's hard.. just be proud of you for how you've handled it thus far, and remember all the good things you've said about your life at the beginning of this blog :) HUGS! hang in there!
because you wish it was better.....you care....if you didn't it wouldn't get to you.
old people are also allowed to make bad mistakes because they had their entire lives (much longer than ours) to work out how bad really is bad....it might not feel quite so bad for her she might get greater pleasure from knowing her grand kiddies and daughter are doing alright.... and stress about the hospital bill if she chose to stay.
it might help to reach to her to understand where she sits. stress doesn't worry her any more all that matters is that you and your sisters and all your children are ok, other than that she probably thinks by now that she deserves her peace and quiet even if that does mean risking her health at least she is in the comfort of her own home...(speaking from experience to some extent on those..)
Thanks to you both for your comments. I do use this blog as a big ole vent sometimes. And for the most part it helps sooooo very much. Hopefully things will be better soon. I called her this morning and she was annoyed that I called to "check on her". It's like I'm the enemy or something. I dunno. Anyway... staying positive and trying to remember the good stuff... Thank you both for your comments.
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